Maintaining the Changes You Worked So Hard To Make

The most consistently neglected part of the change process is the phase of "maintenance." No matter what new habit or behavior or routine we put into place, it's new, and new patterns are more fragile than whatever old established one we are trying to eliminate.

Without solidifying our ability to maintain,our chances of creating lasting changes are slim. Enduring change rarely happens all at once.

For instance, quitting smoking usually involves a lot more than throwing your cigarettes in the trash. Creating any new behavior or routine is something we do over and over again. It becomes more solidified each time we do it and each time we surmount a challenge or a difficulty in sticking with it. Every time we get back on the horse we've fallen off of, the change becomes that much more solid.

Many of my clients come to me after significant periods in their lives when they've walked on the road they want to be on. They may have had periods when they've started to make the change they crave. They were working out regularly or they were losing weight. They had started the novel they wanted to write. They were on the road to pursuing their particular dream.

And then something happened.

Their focus became less intense. Their routine became less consistent. Something (it's always something) came up. And one day they woke up and realized that the new behavior or routine or change wasn't in place anymore. They were back to doing things the "old way." And now they are feeling defeated and tired and they have a bit (or a lot) less hope then they did before. They may even be feeling guilty and mad at themselves which makes things even harder.

Change is not a one shot deal.

You probably know how it works. You've made a successful change. You feel proud. You feel like celebrating. You've worked really hard and maybe you decide you really don't need to be quite so disciplined anymore. You start to slack off or you loosen the reins a bit. Is this a bad thing? Haven't you earned it? How do you know?

Maintenance is not something that happens automatically--AND maintenance is the stage where all the hard work can pay off, or can start to unravel. Many of my clients are very clear that they know HOW to make changes. They know how to lose weight (if that's their goal) or they know how to take that first step. What they struggle with--what we all tend to find difficult is making changes that LAST. Maintenance is a crucial step in the process if we want to put something into place that will serve us for the long term. Enduring change.

Working at maintenance isn't as dramatic or visibly rewarding as starting something new. Because "maintaining" is the goal, you aren't seeing the motivating external changes or smaller numbers on the scale in the same way you saw them when you began to make a change. You may get so comfortable with the new change that you forget the state that motivated you to change in the first place. It's easy to lose momentum. However, putting a firm foundation for long term maintenance in place is crucial. Sometimes this is the phase where extra support and accountability can pay off big.

My advice to you: don't hesitate to get the support you need to establish a solid foundation of maintenance. You've worked too hard to create the changes you've begun to put into place. What do you need to do to make sure that you don't short change yourself?

Melissa

Service Marketing

Providing something useful to our clients and our potential clients--being of service--is a tremendous way to build relationships, trust, and grow and maintain a customer base. Providing a free report when someone joins your mailing list, sending a new contact an article or a resource you think they might find helpful, or providing a free newsletter that contains useful information are all ways of establishing your credibility, creating a positive relationship, and following up.

The common idea here is providing quality service to the person you are connecting with. This type of marketing doesn't work if you are providing them junk. I don't know about you, but personally I toss the magnets that I receive in the mail with a picture of my local realtor on them.

Recently, I received what I think qualifies as my most appreciated marketing gift ever. Remember when postage went up one cent last month? That very day, another bright realtor, one whom I'd never met, sent me a brief note and enclosed a sheet of twenty one-cent stamps. Her investment--minimal. Her timing--perfect. The value of her service to me (who just happened to have some snail mail that HAD to go out)--priceless. Finding those stamps in my mailbox at the end of a very long workday, was a fantastic gift.

Put your thinking cap on. What can you provide that would absolutely hit that sweet spot? How can you be the person who is there at just the right time, with just the right, small but highly-appreciated gift? Don't undervalue what you have to offer. Often, like the stamps, it's a matter of thinking ahead, being considerate, and responding with impeccable or creative timing. I'd love to hear what your favorite freebies have been.

Are you protecting yourself from disaster?

Not that I'm superstitious, but I talked to two very unhappy, stressed out professionals in the last 24 hours whose computer hard drives had crashed. At a conference I attended this month, a presenter was in tears as he described the photos he recently lost of his newborn baby when his computer died (he hadn't told his wife yet). We all know that we should be backing up our data. But are you doing it? Regularly?

This is a gentle reminder that taking less than an hour to set up a system can save you mountains of grief and possibly money.

This week I switched to an online backup service because I wanted an automated, effortless system that was more reliable then my memory for technological details. Idrive.com was easy to use and get started with and I love knowing that I have one more system in place taking care of details while I sleep :-). So far, I'm a happy camper. What are you using to protect your computer files?

NOT doing it all

The number one lesson for this week (and the lesson I keep learning over and over)--I can't do it all. No, it's better then that. I don't want to do it all. Even if I think I do in my most "control freak" moments, I really don't. The business I love to own is the one where things go smoothly, where I'm not overworked, and where I can really focus my attention on the things that I'm good at, the things that energize me and the things that create success for my business.

It's easy to get "too busy" to delegate, or "too busy" to find the people to delegate to, but the end result is feeling too tight on time to run my business in the quality way that I want to. I'm learning that when I find myself thinking that I have too much on my plate, my first question to ask is, "Who can do some of this work?" I've started a running list of things I'm doing that I'm not enjoying. The realization that I don't have to be absolutely clear about how I will delegate them before I state that I want to is priceless. The next step will be arranging them so that I can hand them off to someone else. Just like many times in my solopreneur journey, I'm going to have confidence that if I just keep moving forward, taking the small steps as I get clear on them, the bigger "how" will continue to get clearer too. I feel lighter already :-)

"Life is not the dress rehearsal" --Rose Tremain

By way of introduction, here's a reprint of my Six Word Memoir. I posted this quote (attributed to Rose Tremain) on my bedroom wall when I was sixteen and now it lives on my website--you can find it (here). This philosophy shapes a lot of what I do and what I choose--in my personal life and in business.

Here’s a bit about what it means to me:

Make sure you are writing the script you want to be living.
Get clear on your priorities, your values, and your goals and then spend your energy accordingly. Spending the time to do this will pay off in ways you won’t believe. Ask yourself, “Are you running your life or is your life running you?” If your life isn’t what you want it to be, spend the energy, the time, or the dollars to get the help you need to get on YOUR track.

Don’t wait for someone else to yell, “Action!”
Don’t wait for permission from anyone else to live your life. Make sure to create space for you. If it seems like there is never time or opportunity for the things you value or for your priorities, there is something wrong.

By the same token, don’t neglect yourself in the care you extend. Remember--put your oxygen mask on first. It’s essential. Self-care and attention to your needs will make not only your life, but the world, a better place.

Be brave. Don’t let stage fright stop you.
Even Oscar winners get stage fright. Courage does not mean having no fear. Courage means doing the hard thing anyway. Acknowledge your stage fright. Take a deep breath, be afraid, and then do the thing you need to do. Just take the first small step. We tend to have more regret around the things we didn’t do than the things we did that didn’t go perfectly.

Don’t be afraid to improvise.
You don’t have to know every step of the process in order to get started. If you have a goal or a dream and you can identify one step that you can take towards it—get moving. Plans unfold and evolve as we live them. Things that originally seemed impossible from a distance aren’t usually so imposing once we find a way to start approaching them. Take action and let the momentum and the plan unfold and build as you go.